Realizations
by Nikolettelime
Summary: Heath comes to some conclusions after a terrible accident. (Horrible name, but couldn't think of a better one and I'm terrible at summaries).


Heath is definitely my favorite so this is a focus on him, but also Jarrod, of course, because I like them.

Due to the plot, I'm having a little change in where the Barkley family will be located in this story, but don't worry. They will be back at Stockton before you know it. Also, I'm kinda messing with the time frame as well, just for fun. Christmas in July anyone?

I'm currently writing without a Beta. If interested in the job, let me know!

Please read and review!

Audra Barkley ran through to the front door, as her brothers walked in, "Mother says we're going to Helena in Montana Territory for Christmas! Can you imagine? We will have white Christmas with snow and us and Mother and Silas!"

The hurricane that was Audra, run up stairs as the always elegant Victoria Barkley walked into the front room, "Nick," she started, addressing her middle son, "not one word. The hands will take care of the ranch for us and I think it's a good idea to get Audra away for a while, with Gene being away. Besides, I think it was very nice of The Peterson's to offer their cabin while they visited family."

Heath removed his hat and grinned at his Nick, "Even when you're gone, the ranch continues to work, brother."

Jarrod poured himself a cup of coffee, "Audra has always been their pick, Mother. Just admit that their trip to Boston is their way of giving Little Miss her wish."

Victoria smiled and tipped her sherry glass at her oldest, her silent way of admitting he was possibly correct.

The cabin in Helena was fairly good sized, but would require shared rooms, which the family didn't mind, if anything would be a good thing.

Audra ran to the kitchen as soon as possible, pulling out the items needed to make ornaments for the tree her brothers would be cutting the next morning.

Victoria went about making dinner, while the boys set up the main room to be a bit more homey and more comfortable.

Audra was excited about spending three weeks in the mountains and looking forward to the snow that would give them a white Christmas.

She was disappointed with her brothers when her hands were swatted while helping put away supplies, however. But what good would spending Christmas time together and spoiling surprises?

Heath was happy as could be with these arrangements, since him and his mama never got to celebrate Christmas. Sure he got a new pair of mittens, or a new hat that she had crocheted for him. But this was new to him, and he had plans to enjoy it.

The family sat around a small table and ate peacefully, "While they cut down a tree tomorrow," Nick began, "I'll go hunting and see if I can't get us a nice sized buck to last a bit and then for Christmas eve, us boys will go bag us a turkey. Will that due, Mother?"

Victoria looked at her boys and smiled, all looking like little boys begging to get dirty after Sunday services, "That sound wonderful, Nick. I think that will be just fine."

Heath stood at the window looking out at the snow that was beginning to fall, and took a sip of his apple cider. Lost in his thoughts. He jumped when Victoria spoke next to him, "Penny for your thoughts, Heath?"

He gave her a small smile, "Sorry, ma'am, just thinking about how much I'm going to enjoy this. Mama and I never really got to celebrate holidays or birthdays, so I guess I'm a bit excited."

Victoria looked into the blue eyes of her younger son and saw excitement in them, "Well I can see that, Heath. You look like you're going to enjoy it. Maybe you and Audra can get Nick to be happy about it as well?"

A massive grin spread across his face, as he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, "Yes ma'am! I'll go find the girl and we will discuss our options."

The next week was full of pulling pranks on Nick, and not just by the two younger ones were involved. From building a snow fort and ambushing Nick on his way back from hunting to a bucket of snow falling on him when he opened the shed door, there was no day that went by that a trick wasn't played on the more serious of the brothers.

Jarrod helped Audra with the decorations for the staircase and hanging wreaths, while the other two made sure everything was in its place. Victoria went around and double checked everything, smiling at the fact it was all just about perfect. Even though it would just be the five of them, Audra had gone all out to make sure Heath got to enjoy a real Christmas with them, and Victoria was once again glad of her daughter's big heart.

Victoria looked at the clock and sighed. Her boys had left at sunup to go hunting for a turkey, And it was nearing noon. She knew hunting took time, but five hours was a lot. She and Audra continued to cook, both trying to keep the worry at bay, but also excited about the time they were going to have as a family.

After walking for three hours to get to the area Mr. Peterson said was prime for hunting, the three brothers were lined up side by side, guns at the ready, waiting on their prey. Having heard gobbles nearby, they hoped one would come in soon.

After all, they had already tossed a coin to see who would carry the bird back to the cabin, Jarrod being the one to lose to both brothers, but he didn't mind.

They all enjoyed their time together and getting to know their younger brother, quietly laughing and joking, but wondering if they would chase the turkeys away.

And there were the turkeys, strutting along in the snow, not a care in the world.

And that is when a moment of happiness went to hell in a hand basket.

Heath had aimed at the bird, steadied his breathing. Breathed in. Held it. Slowly exhaled.

A shot rang out.

A bird flopped briefly, then stopped.

Heath had fallen back, but he had not been the one to fire the shot.

They say as you die, your life flashes before your eyes. And Heath Barkley could confirm that, as he lay in the snow, one brother trying to get him to breathe, the other looking for where the shot came from, it was correct.

He remembered everything. The fights between him and Nick as he tried to become part of the family.

Standing with his brothers to go against the railroad.

Protecting Audra from an unstable neighbor.

Jarrod questioning him on the witness stand to prove his client was innocent.

Victoria accepting him as her own, and just being there.

He could hear his name being called, he thought, but was unable to answer. What did they want and why was Jarrod in his face?

Jarrod could not get Heath to draw in a breath, and was dreading what he was going to have to do. Slapping Heath seemed to work as the younger brother drew in a deep breath.

Nick came back over, "Whoever it was is gone. How is he?"

"Fine…. Nick….I'm fine." Came the struggled words of the one in question.

Jarrod pulled heath closer to him, "Hush. You will be fine, just not right now, boy. Nick, you'll need to go back and get the horses. Have Mother and Audra get everything together."

Nick nodded, as he put his hand on Heath's shoulder, "I'll be back, brother," and with that, the second brother left to get the horses.

Jarrod held his brother, pulling the blankets they brought around them to keep in the warmth, after he had bandaged Heath's shoulder.

The blond had finally passed out, and Jarrod put his chin in his brother's head, silently praying.

Nick quickly entered the house, cold and a little damp and let his mother and sister know what was happening before getting two horses together.

The wagon would only hinder then and get stuck in the snow, and he knew Heath would not be able to ride on his own.

As he left the cabin, he took one last look at the living room, made onto a picturesque room fit to grace the covers of Harper's Bazaar.

The one thing taking away from the view and the gave a stark reminder of what had just occurred hours before, were the surgical instruments, bandages and sewing supplies that sat on the table by the backless sofa he would be laying his younger brother on.

Audra sat on the ottoman at her brother's side. Victoria had removed the bullet, but due to how long it had been in Heath's shoulder, he had already started a fever, that had started to spike.

She quietly changed warm cloths for cool, never once saying a word, as tears silently made their way down her face, feeling the fever going higher.

Victoria stood with the two older men in the kitchen, "He's young and strong, but the bullet was low in his shoulder, practically in his chest, and with his fever rising, I just don't know. I believe that we are going to need a Christmas miracle to get through this."

"We may never find who fired that shot," Nick said, "but you better believe x if he dies, I will never stop hunting for the person that did it."

Jarrod just nodded, and Nick put his hands on his hips before hanging his head, as Audra came into the room, "He's awake. Wants all of us to be in the room with him." Her voice cracked at the last part, and Victoria quickly pulled her daughter into a hug, and wiped her tears.

The family sat around Heath, Victoria and Audra on either side, holding his hands, and his brothers sitting on the floor, cleaning against the sofa, the only sounds were Heath's harsh breathing and the fire crackling.

Heath stared at the tree in the corner, showing off each of the ornaments his little sister had made, and the candles she had taken the time to light at his request.

The scents of cinnamon, cedar and cranberries surrounded him, as did the most important part of his life; his family.

He knew he was dying, there was now way he wasn't when he felt like he was burning up. Obviously he knew he wasn't going to heaven, he didn't think it would be this hot otherwise.

He hadn't been able to speak, but that seemed okay to his family, they knew what he wanted to say, but couldn't.

Family. A strange word, really. When had he truly thought of them as family? He knew he couldn't let them down, but he was so tired, and weak. He didn't think he could last much longer.

Just as the sun started to rise, Heath's harsh breathing stopped, his body still, and tears flowed silently, Nick pulling his little sister into his arms, as Jarrod held his mother's hand.

Silas stood outside the carriage that was parked in front of the house and helped out his employer and her daughter, before assisting the next person out.

Two over protective men quickly took over, and helped the younger one inside and into bed after assisting him with getting changed.

The women meeting them in the room afterwards, Audra spoke first, "When his fever broke, I was so scared, honestly." She said, running her fingers through Heath's hair as he slept.

Victoria felt for a fever, "He did scare us all. But it was a wonderful gift to us all that he is still with us."

"I must be in hell still."

Jarrod turned to the bed they were around, "And why is that?"

"Because Nick is smiling. And next year, we stay home."

Laughter rang within the room, and down stairs, in the kitchen, Silas smiled, tears of his own falling, as that was the most beautiful sound he had heard in a long time.

And this story took a 180 from where I was originally going. ***sigh*** My muse is laughing at me. Best laid plans and all that.


End file.
